Mike: Clean on the Screen

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, the hosts sit down with Mike, a Patreon supporter and recovering addict, for a raw and deeply personal conversation about addiction, identity, mental health, and what it really means to rebuild a life from the ground up. Mike shares how, despite growing up in a loving and financially stable home, he struggled internally from a young age with bullying, low self-worth, and a constant feeling of not fitting in. As an adult, he was diagnosed with autism, which helped him understand years of masking, people-pleasing, and difficulty regulating emotions — all of which fed into his addiction. Mike I got clean on the screen

Mike’s substance use began socially with alcohol and escalated when cocaine entered the picture during nights out and London work culture. What started as confidence and connection gradually became compulsion, secrecy, and isolation. He describes the shift from “fun” to needing drugs just to feel normal, using alone, lying about money, and living a double life that eventually led to the breakdown of his marriage. At his lowest point, overwhelmed by shame and consequences, Mike believed suicide was his only way out — a crisis that ultimately forced him to admit the truth and ask for help. Mike I got clean on the screen

He entered recovery during COVID through Zoom meetings, throwing himself into the program with willingness, service, and connection. But his journey wasn’t linear. Mike speaks openly about multiple relapses, including one he hid for two years while continuing to claim clean time. The emotional weight of that dishonesty led to anger, relationship damage, and mental instability. When the truth finally came out, he reset his clean date and describes the relief of honesty as a turning point in his recovery. Mike I got clean on the screen

The episode also explores Mike’s mental health struggles. After a suicide attempt involving medication, he was hospitalized and later diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) alongside autism. With treatment, medication, and a deeper understanding of his emotional patterns, he now recognizes how mental health and addiction intertwine — and how recovery requires addressing both. Mike I got clean on the screen

Now one year into an honest stretch of recovery, Mike explains what’s different this time: in-person meetings, active step work, full transparency with his sponsor, a small but strong support network, and a willingness to prioritize healing over relationships and comfort. He talks about finding joy in ordinary life — home, routine, connection, and helping newcomers — rather than chaos and nightlife. Recovery, for him, feels like being “born again,” not in a religious sense, but as a complete reset and chance to live with integrity instead of performance. Mike I got clean on the screen

This episode is a powerful reminder that addiction is about far more than substances. It’s about identity, shame, mental health, and the courage to tell the truth. Mike’s story shows that relapse doesn’t have to be the end — but secrets will keep people stuck. With honesty, community, and willingness, change is possible.