Dev: Recovery, Relapse, and Finding Faith

In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas speak with their friend Dev about his personal journey through addiction, relapse, and recovery.

Early Life

Dev describes growing up in a loving and stable home in Watford with both parents and a younger brother. Despite having a supportive upbringing and no major trauma, he often felt uncomfortable in his own skin and struggled with low self-esteem. From a young age he craved approval and wanted to be liked, particularly by his father.

Looking back, Dev recognises that addictive patterns were present long before he ever used drugs. As a child he displayed obsessive behaviours such as overeating and compulsively collecting items like Pokémon cards and football stickers. These behaviours were ways of coping with uncomfortable feelings.

First Experiences With Drugs

Dev first used cannabis in secondary school. Although he initially disliked the feeling, he continued using because it helped him fit in socially. Being part of a group that used drugs gave him a sense of belonging and attention he had always sought.

Over time his drug use expanded to alcohol, ecstasy and cocaine. Selling drugs at school gave him a sense of power and popularity, which reinforced his lifestyle and pushed him deeper into addiction.

Consequences of Addiction

As Dev’s addiction progressed, the consequences became severe. He experienced multiple prison sentences, legal trouble, job loss, and broken relationships. At one point he overdosed after taking MDMA at a rave and woke up in hospital days later with no memory of the event.

Even after these frightening experiences, he continued using, showing how powerful addiction can be.

Fatherhood and the Desire to Change

When Dev’s daughter was born, he experienced a powerful emotional shift. Holding her for the first time made him determined to become a better father and stop using drugs.

However, despite his genuine desire to change, he discovered that willpower alone was not enough. Without understanding addiction or having support, he quickly fell back into old patterns.

Recovery and Treatment

Dev eventually entered treatment at the Lighthouse recovery centre, where he began to understand addiction for the first time. Hearing others share similar experiences helped him realise he was not alone.

He started attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings and became part of a recovery community. While he experienced periods of sobriety, his journey included setbacks, dishonesty, and relapse before he began to fully engage with the recovery process.

Finding Faith

After achieving three and a half years clean, Dev relapsed and lost many of the things he had built in his life. Returning to recovery was difficult, and he struggled emotionally.

During this time he began attending church and exploring faith. In October he committed his life to Christianity and was later baptised in December. He describes this spiritual awakening as a major turning point in his recovery, helping him find inner peace and purpose.

Life Today

Today Dev has eight and a half months clean and lives a calmer, more balanced life. He maintains a strong relationship with his daughter and works in supported housing helping men in recovery.

He emphasises that recovery requires honesty, service to others, community support, and a spiritual foundation.

Key Message

Dev’s story demonstrates that addiction can affect anyone, regardless of background, and that recovery often involves setbacks before lasting change occurs. Through community, faith, and helping others, he has built a new life grounded in purpose and compassion.